FAQ's

Who are you?

A wretched sinner repenting in the Orthodox Church. A professional singer/actor. A brother, uncle and husband. An American, a conservative, a libertarian. That's all you get. Only four people know who I really am and that I have a blog. Liberals are completely intolerant of opposing views and they dominate Hollyweird and show business in general. Hence my need for secrecy. I may come out, until that day when secular jihadism is vanquished and Hollyweird starts showing respect for God, Family and Country again, I am the Orthodox Caveman, or Vir Speluncae Orthodoxae, or VSO for short.

Where do you perform?

Where ever I'm hired and paid to do so.

How do you get a job in show business?

Like any other job you apply for it and go in for an interview, called an "audition". What you do depends on what it is. If it's opera/musical you sing. If it's a movie/play you recite a prepared monologue/speech and/or read from the script they give you. Also know as a "screen test."

Why don't you go to Mark Taper/Guthrie Theater/Milwaukee Rep?

GEE! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?! You mean it's THAT EASY?!

Who have you worked with?

Too many to name, but some of the ones you may have heard of are Anthony Edwards, Alan Arkin, Greg Kinnear, Leah Thompson. Though I have friends you've seen, but never heard of.

Do you sing or act?

Both. I sing in pro opera choruses and do background/extra in major film/TV and roles in independents.

How can a guy like you have an interest in such an industry, meaning so hostile to God?

Why did the prophets dwell among the pagans? Why did God incarnate dwell among sinners? I just like to perform.

Do you make all your living from acting?

No. I also have a job servicing bars and I sing for a typical novus ordo Catholic parish. They pay me well, know I'm Orthodox but don't ask me about it other than, "Do you do things like this in your Church?"

How does an Orthodox Christian manage to work for a parish where you constantly see things you consider heretical?

I keep telling myself, "It's just a job" and sometimes I just have to swallow the bile. I just sing. Other Orthodox can argue if I'm participating in heresy this way, but I didn't even let them put that dirt on my face. The only situation where I'd commune with them would be in a huge Terminator style War and I was fighting along with them and there was no other option than the Catholic priest. Of course Rome could agree to our demands, then we could decide on changes if any.

If an SPPX parish offered you a job you leave your current position?

Unless the money was really bad, and as long as they didn't talk smack about the Orthodox Church to my face, IN A NEW YORK MINUTE!

Why don't you sing for your own parish?

Because they don't pay me, and my product is worth ALOT more than that. Also my home parish has absolutely NO CLUE about music, professionalism and with all the singing I do outside of Church I need a break somewhere. The russians are the only ones who seem to get this, but they can't afford me. I know of an Orthodox organist in Denver who plays for an Episcopal coven/meeting place/worship hall. I can't pay my landlord with love and "good intentions".

Which jurisdiction in the USA do you prefer?

ROCOR with Bulgaria a close second. They "get it" but alas ROCOR is not very missionary anymore and still have a "fortress mentality" that I find discouraging.

What is your favorite Rite?

Latin Rite. It's not that I don't like the Byzantine Rite, in fact it has filled in alot of blanks for me. It's just not the Rite that my ancestors used, meaning I'm western, and greeks don't appeal to me. I want to see the Sarum, Gallican, Ambrosian and Mozaribic rites too. The purpose of the Western Rite Orthodox is not to resurrect dead liturgies, but to restore to the Church what is Hers.

How successful have you been in keeping your mouth shut at the Catholic parish where you work?>

I've done all right. If I do say something it's according to "their" rules, like when the priest was washing not only women's feet on Holy Thursday but little girls too. It's not my church. I just work there. But that one was a doozy.

Why do you frequent Catholic blogs like the Catholic Cavemen?

Because one of my priest teachers told me to support like-minded people. I don't have to explain to so-called "Traditional Catholics" (as opposed to modernist neo-protestant ones) why we Orthodox resist change and oppose the world. I do however have to explain why we oppose Roman dogmatic innovations like Papal Supremacy and Infallibiity, the "Filioque" addition to the creed and married priests etc. I don't insult their Church, they don't insult mine. The same goes with the Copts and Non-Chalcedonians. I have no quarrel with the Copts. They never called ME a heretic. Nevertheless, I have nothing but respect for the Catholic Cavemen and women.

Can one make a living in acting?

Theoretically yes. Only the "A listers" make the big money and it has nothing to do with talent. But the majority of us make meager livings at best, and poverty at worst. The options are New York, Los Angeles or Las Vegas. They're called "starving artists" for a reason. Same story with opera. Only the Pavarottis make the big money, in opera it's talent driven.

Is it a good idea to start an independent theatre company?

No.

Why do you refer to Patriarch Bartholomew as "Black Bart"?

Because he's an ecumenist heretic who thinks he's the Pope of the Orthodox Church. Just read his speeches at the WCC for confirmation of this. I got the idea from a ROCOR deacon.

Is it hard trying to be an observant Orthodox Christian and an actor?

Yes. That's why the Apostles wouldn't baptize actors.